1) I got woken up this morning when I didn't want to be

2) I am not a morning person. I'm cranky and more apt to tell what I see as the truth, very bluntly.

ARGH! I am so. Fucking. Frustrated. Two things. My roommate, and school in general.

First, school in general. I am so fucking disillusioned here. I love God and yay! But here? It's supposed to be a Christian school, and yet there's so much hypocrisy (I suppose you could count me in that, since I drink and have sex when my man is here, except I don't pretend to be perfect or really anything other than what I am), chapel is annoying as hell where it often seems like a 45-minute long commercial prefaced by worship (you would not believe how many times I've walked out, and how many more I've had to keep myself from walking out), and no one communicates between departments (between staff and faculty, between different staff departments, and definitely not between faculty). I really. Really. Don't like it here anymore. Leaving here scares me, but at the same time I can't wait. Two more semesters. Two. More. Fucking. Semesters.

Second, my roommate. I swear to you, she has four siblings, but often it's like she's an only child! (No offence to the only children reading this, as I am one myself.) As soon as her phone rings, she seems to forget she's not the only one in the room. (This morning much? She knew I was trying to sleep, and yet she talked to her friend in the room instead of either going out the door or saying "hey, my roommate is sleeping, let me call you back". And last night, she knew I'd been trying to read The Alchemist since 2 in the afternoon and it was a hard read, and yet when she got a call, again she just blathered on without considering anyone else in the room. It wasn't until I started to get ready to go out to the lobby to read that she got the hint and went "oh, I'm sorry! I'll leave." Yeah. I didn't say "it's okay" because it's not. I still don't trust myself to speak much to her, but that's also related to the next bit.) Also, she's SO FUCKING CLINGY! Anytime I leave campus she wants to come with. I'm almost to the point of sneaking out just to avoid her. She HAS to sit next to me whenever I'm at chapel. She HAD to go with me to the NaNo write-in (turns out it was a good thing in the end, but that's not the point) even though she's not doing NaNo and is so freaking resistant to doing it. She almost always sits with me at lunch. The only way I can get away from her at lunch is to make sure she sits somewhere first, then go to a different table and hope she doesn't follow me.

Help! I love her dearly, but my God she's getting on my nerves and I'm starting to get to the point of hating her. What the fuck do I do, short of bitching her out, which would not be good, since I have to live with her?

Tags: bitching
How I Feel: annoyed

Oh, my god. Save me from conceited bitches who get upset when you don't agree with them, do minimal research (online) to find evidence that backs up their conclusion, and resort to "well that's my opinion" when faced with fact, science, and reason.

I swear to God I'm going to kill Shayla.

Tags: bitching

Dear God,

Please give me the strength to get through the rest of my time at Bethany without killing someone or going batshit NUTS. Help me keep my tongue and learn to breathe around people who presume to say what You do and do not like, or what out of two options You like better.

Keep me from controversial conversations or arguments as I am likely to blow the fuck up at the next person who relies on pastors and professors to be their brains instead of using the ones You gave them.

And please give me an on/off button on my ears so I can just tune out people who are demonstrating their wonderful idiocy.

Thank you,
Courtney

Tags: bethany, bitching

Situation: You're stuck with person A as your partner for the whole semester, during which you "get" to write 4 or 5 (I forget the exact number) of research papers and present them with your partner. (Individual papers, presentations can be done either individually or as one, but basically you're partnered up and given a topic and told to go and research and write.) Now, for the first paper it's a subject you've already researched, so you give your previous paper to your partner (with permission of the teacher) for reference. Not to copy, not to paraphrase, not to steal. To reference. Come presentation day, you discover that your partner has stolen and paraphrased your paper (badly, I might add) to make up 90 % of theirs, and the other 10% came from a website another friend had given them. (Basically, your partner did none of their own research nor used any of their own ideas nor understood what they were writing about.) Your partner has written a crappy, plagiarized paper and given a crappy presentation. You, on the other hand, have worked your butt off to write a paper that's 2 pages longer than the minimum, was forced to touch on high points of the paper for the presentation because of how much information you had, and generally deserved a decent grade.

Now you're stuck with this partner who can't do their own research nor write decent papers for the rest of the semester, and you don't know whether or not your grade is dependant on their performance. Do you:

a) suck it up and do their share of the work for them?
b) say screw it and do only your own work, and do it well, and hope that your grade reflects the work you put in and that your partner's reflects the work they put in?
c) bitch your partner out (who happens to be your friend; just not too bright academically), then do one of the above?

or

d) go to the teacher about it, ask what the grading policy is, and see what to do about it then?





Yes. I find myself in this situation. I'm planning on doing D, and hoping he (the teacher) understands and works with me. If that doesn't work, I think I'll go to the President of the college (it's a small college, and I'm somewhat friends with Dr. Rossi) about it and ask what he thinks.

Keep in mind, I'm not very confrontational IRL when it involves friends. (I had so few in the past that I'm afraid to lose the ones I have. That, and Bethany is so small I can't get away from people I piss off.)

Tags: bethany, bitching
How I Feel: pissed off

several times this week, my new across-the-stree neighbor has insisted on pounding on his piano in the middle of the night. The last time I went over and complained, as it was midnight and I didn't think he'd shoot me or anything. Tonight I just called the cops. Called them about 15 minutes ago, and they haven't shown up, nor has the pounding stopped.

How much you want to bet the cops aren't going to show?

Tags: bitching

Can I just say how much I hate homework? GRR.

I have decided, after writing out 99% of my homework assignments (several papers w/o definite due dates aren't on the list), that I am just going to work on it for 5-6 hours each evening (until my brain stops absorbing information, basically), rotating books after 10 pages apiece, and writing each assignment as it comes up as I go down my list until I'm DONE. Except for the papers.

...At this rate I should be done (and burnt out) by my birthday. Hopefully slightly before, so I can relax and let the alcohol do its thing. (You bet your ass I'll be having Matthew drive me home.)

Oh, on that note: I think, unless anyone else has suggestions that are condusive to including those who are still underage, that I will be having a Birthday Dinner at Chili's. My birthday is on a Friday, so that shouldn't be TOO much of a problem (I wonder if you can do reservations for larger parties at Chili's). I shall post more details as I figure them out. Anyone who can make it is welcome to come! (Just let me know, okidoke?)

Edit: As of 4:00 this afternoon, all the homework that is due this week is DONE. Now I need to finish the stuff for next week. Yes, I'm serious about this! 90% of it is just reading, and 5% is writing reviews of my history chapters. So, seriously, I'm only left with 5% of my homework left to do once I finish everything!

Tags: bethany, birthday, bitching, meetups

argh!

I thought the "do not call" list was exactly that. People couldn't call you!

I just got a call for a survey, lied (implied that I'm under 18) to get out of taking it, and then I was asked "oh, well then can I have a name of someone who is so I know who to ask for when I call back?"

God, I should have just said "please don't." Or "I'm an emancipated minor, there is no one between 18-65 here, and no I don't want to take this either." Or something. GAH!

How the fuck do you get these fuckers to stop calling? Just two days ago PAL called me. Not my mom. Me. I've done nothing with anyone associated with PAL, neither has my mom. My god! It's like, just because it's Christmastime, the DNC list doesn't exist anymore! I swear I'm going to figure out how to get my number out of the phone book when I'm on my own, and if someone wants me, they will either have to have had my number from someone, or have had me give it to them myself.

FUCKERS.

I'm done.

Tags: bitching

So, during chapel I got really pissed, and wrote something out. I know I shouldn't have gotten so pissed, so I went to Dr. Rossi and asked him to pray for/with me so I could control my anger, which by the way, is anger at people. At the people of Bethany, as a whole and sometimes as individuals (but no I won't name names because that's not my place). So, I got out what I had to say, which was mainly my anger and disappointment at the hypocrisy of the students here. And I'm going to have a say on here, but in a much less pissed-off way.

I. Am sick. Of seeing people, individual people, saying, "keep yourself pure and don't do X or Y or Z" but then I know for a fact that they turn around and DO X or Y or Z. I'm fine with people trying to keep others accountable. And I understand that people have their own issues. But what completely sends me off is when they feel guilty so they turn around and rail on others for doing exactly what they are doing. GOR!


Okay. So. Now on to the individual thing during chapel that started this, that, interestingly enough has nothing to do with hypocrisy. I think. I wrote this during chapel:


I am so sick of the witch-bashing in the Christian church. Would they say the same thigns about Buddhists, or Mormons, or Muslims, or even athiests? No.

"He's not too personable. But hey, what do you expect, he's a ________."

"She hates us all, but that's to be expected; she's a ________."

FILL IN THE BLANK!

You wouldn't dream of filling in "Buddhist" or "Catholic" or "Hindu" or whatever. No. But bring in the magical word "witch" (no pun intended), and everyone laughs or thinks it's okay. How many people who laugh at these jokes (or what-have-you) have actually talked to a witch, knowingly? Many would be surprised to find out who is a pagan.

And almost none of them would laugh if they knew what I knew.

Tags: bethany, bitching