the fog I had six months ago is coming back. I can't concentrate on anything: I can't even read for more than a few pages. I can't play WoW for more than half an hour. I just.. can't. I always want to cry, and I do shed a few tears every day. I suck at everything - I can't even run a bath without scalding myself. I can't twitter anything anymore because there's someone following me I will piss off if I block, but if he reads my tweets he gets more stressed because he doesn't like seeing me like this.
I want to feel like I can actually do something. I haven't felt useful or at least good at anything in more than a year and a half, not since I left school. I'm just a burden on everyone, most especially my mother.
I have no one to go to but I won't kill myself even if I do think it would solve so many problems. God I want to die so bad if I can't do anything. I hate my life so bad, & what makes it worse is (ok, this is going to sound like I'm just whining, but it's really how I feel) that I feel very unloved. Even Ami is sticking with me just because he doesn't give up on people.